The Fire-Breathing Chicken of DOOM
by kisshuismylife
Summary: What might have happened if Kisshu had been the one to come up with a fire-breathing chicken rather than Taruto. Enjoy and review!


**The Fire-Breathing Chicken of DOOM**

"OI! TARUTO!"

"WHAT, Kisshu!?" Taruto yelled back.

"Come in for a minute, I've got an idea," Kisshu called.

Taruto sighed and went into Kisshu's room, then asked, "What's up?"

"Let's get a chicken!" Kisshu said. "Wouldn't it be fun to put a fire-based infuser into a chicken and then let it loose at the pink cupcake?"

"That's a great idea!" Taruto said happily. "And I know where to get a chicken, too. Pai's researching human farm animals, and he's got a chicken he's studying. I'll go rescue it."

"Great!" Kisshu said. "Bring it here when you find it."

"'Kay," Taruto said, and teleported to Pai's lab.

Pai didn't look up when Taruto teleported in; he just said, "This had better be important."

"I'm just borrowing something," Taruto said. He located the chicken Pai was studying, let it out, and then teleported it to Kisshu's room.

Kisshu looked up when he landed, and said, "I created the infuser."

"Great," Taruto said. "Here's the chicken."

Kisshu smirked and put the infuser into the chicken. "Let's go see if it worked," he said. Gently picking up the chicken, he teleported to a park, followed by Taruto.

When they landed, Taruto said, "I see something we can test the chicken on…."

Kisshu looked in the direction he was pointing, and saw Aoyama. "Nice, Taruto," he said, smirking. He looked at the chicken, and said, "Set that kid on fire, okay?"

The chicken headed over in Aoyama's direction, and when Aoyama looked at her, shot a stream of fire at him. "YAAAAAAH! That's HOT!" Aoyama screamed, as he danced around trying to put out the flames.

Kisshu and Taruto were doubled up laughing as the chicken came back, looking very self-satisfied. "Good job," Kisshu told her. "What should I name you?"

"It should have something to do with doom," Taruto said.

"Sokkyo?" Kisshu suggested.

"That works," Taruto said. **(A/N: Sokkyo is the Japanese word for doom).**

Kisshu looked at the chicken, and said, "Your name is Sokkyo, okay?"

'Sokkyo' clucked. "We've got company," Taruto commented.

Kisshu looked up to see a rather charred Aoyama glaring at him. "WHY did you make your chicken roast me?" he asked irritably.

"Not my fault you were the only one around to test her on," Kisshu said, shrugging. "We're going to go let her loose at the pink cupcake, so have fun being charred."

"If you roast Ichigo, you'll regret it!" Aoyama shouted.

"We're going to roast Blondie," Taruto said.

"And possibly Birdy," Kisshu added. "But not Ichigo."

"You're going to roast Mint?" Aoyama asked nervously.

"I thought you were with Ichigo," Kisshu commented. "Why do you care if the snobby birdbrain gets roasted?"

"Uh…." Aoyama said.

"Tree-Freak is a cheater!" Taruto snickered. "Kisshu, this is your chance!"

"YEAH!" Kisshu said. He grabbed Sokkyo and teleported off, followed by Taruto, leaving Aoyama to get very nervous about what would happen when Moe and Miwa found out he was cheating on Ichigo.

_**At the Café: **_The Mews were finishing preparation when the two Cyniclons teleported in, and Ichigo groaned. "What now?" she asked wearily.

"Where's Blondie?" Taruto asked.

"Uh…. last I checked he was upstairs, why?" Ichigo asked.

"Our new pet wants to meet him," Kisshu said, holding up Sokkyo.

"A chicken?" Lettuce asked.

"Mews, meet Sokkyo, our fire-breathing chicken," Kisshu said. "We came to roast Blondie and possibly Birdy. But Blondie first. Come on, Taruto."

"You go ahead, I'll tell the old hag about our findings," Taruto said.

"Suit yourself," Kisshu said, and headed upstairs.

"So what findings were you talking about?" Ichigo asked. "I'll attempt to ignore the old hag comment."

"Tree-Freak is cheating on you with Birdy," Taruto said. "We roasted him, and then we told him we might be roasting Mint, and he got all nervous. So when I asked him if he was cheating on you, he got even more nervous and didn't respond."

Ichigo's eyes filled with tears as she screamed, "MINT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!"

Mint looked nervous, but before she could reply, they heard from upstairs, "HELP ME!" and Kisshu laughing maniacally.

"Pudding wants to watch!" Pudding said happily, and dragged Taruto upstairs. Ichigo followed them after slapping Mint across the face.

_**Upstairs: **_Ichigo, Pudding, and Taruto came into Ryou's room to find Sokkyo chasing him around. He was already slightly charred in spots- including his hair. "Jeez, you look like a bumblebee, Blondie," Taruto said- just as Sokkyo set Ryou's pants on fire. Everyone burst out laughing, including Ichigo, as Ryou danced around trying to put out the fire. He finally managed it, only to get torched again. "WOULD YOU QUIT LAUGHING AND GET RID OF THE CHICKEN!?" he screamed at Pudding and Ichigo.

"Not…. a chance…." Ichigo gasped out, laughing too hard to speak properly. "Thanks for cheering me up, though."

"HOW IS THIS FUNNY? IT'S PAINFUL TO GET BURNED!" Ryou screamed. "AND NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN AGAIN!"

This resulted in everyone falling over laughing, and Ryou snarled. "I'm gonna murder that chicken if you don't get it out of here," he snarled at Kisshu.

Kisshu snickered and snapped his fingers. Sokkyo disappeared, and Ryou sighed.

The others calmed down a bit a while later- just as Pai teleported in and screamed, "IKISATASHI KISSHU, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!"

"So what did I do now?" Kisshu asked.

"You put a fire-breathing chicken in my lab and it burned my poems to ashes!" Pai snarled.

"Poems?" Ichigo asked, puzzled.

"Pai's got this thing for writing really sappy love poetry, but luckily he hasn't given any to Lettuce yet," Taruto explained.

Ichigo and Pudding burst out laughing. "Taruto, you'll be going down after Kisshu," Pai snarled.

"Slight problem with dooming Kisshu; he's gone," Ichigo giggled.

Pai growled and said, "Kisshu's going DOWN when I find him!"

"Not if I get there first," Ryou snarled, and stormed out. Pai teleported out, and Taruto sighed. "Do you know where Kisshu is?" Ichigo asked him.

"He's in your room," Taruto said. "Let's go." He took Ichigo's hand and teleported to her room.

Kisshu looked up when they landed, but before he could say anything, Taruto said, "Blondie and Pai both want to dissect you."

"Oh well," Kisshu said. "At least I got to go through Ichigo's dresser before I get dissected."

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Ichigo shrieked.

Kisshu smirked and said, "I went through your dresser. Your underwear is very colorful…."

Ichigo growled and said, "You know what you're asking for?"

"Uh…. another slap?" Kisshu suggested.

"A tickle war," Ichigo said, smirking evilly. Kisshu squeaked and promptly climbed under Ichigo's bed, much to her surprise.

Taruto sighed. "Great…. now he'll be under there for the rest of the day," he groaned.

"What happened?" Ichigo asked. "I thought tickle wars were better than me slapping him."

Kisshu squeaked from under the bed as Taruto said, "Tickling Kisshu will cause him to stop breathing; he's terrified of being tickled."

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Ichigo looked out the window, then yelled, "Get out of my yard, Blondie! I'm NOT letting you in!"

"You're just postponing the inevitable!" Ryou shouted back. "Your boyfriend is going to DIE today!"

Ichigo sighed and closed the window. As she turned, she heard teleportation, and Pai appeared, then snarled, "Tell me where Kisshu is or die."

Ichigo grabbed Pai by the collar, and dragged him out of her room and down the stairs, then to the front door. Opening the front door, she threw him out, and he landed on top of Ryou. "BOTH OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD!" she yelled. She held up a hand, and long, sharp claws shot out of her fingertips. Pai and Ryou untangled themselves and ran for it. Ichigo slammed the door and locked it, then went back upstairs.

She found Kisshu sitting on her bed, and Taruto sitting in her desk chair. "Are they gone?" Kisshu asked.

"Yup," Ichigo said. "Would you like a kiss?"

Kisshu perked up and gave her puppy dog eyes, and she giggled and kissed him.

_**Back at Café Mew Mew, however: **_The other Mews were sitting around eating cake when Ryou and Pai burst in, out of breath. "What happened to YOU?" Mint asked.

"Ichigo… is…. SCARY…." Ryou gasped.

"Let me guess; you both went to her house to kill Kisshu, and she threw you out while screaming at you," Zakuro said dryly.

"She dragged me through her house after I landed in her room, and threw me out the front door!" Pai moaned.

"And her claws got bigger!" Ryou wailed.

"Note to self; never make Ichigo angry," Mint said.

"Um… Mint-san, Ichigo-san is already mad at you for stealing Aoyama," Lettuce said- just as Mint's cell phone rang.

The others watched as she picked up, but soon after she screamed and dropped the phone. "Some GUY just told me I have seven days to live!" she screamed.

"That's probably true," Pai said. "At least you'll get the seven days; your boyfriend won't be so lucky."

Mint was too busy freaking out to care.

**The ending's not great, but I wanted to do an ending without Ichigo and Kisshu kissing, so here it is. And I'm sorry there wasn't more about Sokkyo; I got carried away. Review please!**


End file.
